Top 3 Things I Learned from My Failed Relationships
Hello everyone! I hope the past few weeks have been treating everyone well. My life has been a little crazy recently! I've done a lot of reflecting on my past relationships and in particular this previous one. I hope that some of the things in here are basically common sense stuff for y'all, but I know I sure wish I had something like this in the past few years.
1) You Are Allowed to Have Feelings
No one should make you feel like you're being extra when expressing your feelings. Having feelings does not make you weak, and expressing them should not be something you fear doing with your partner. You should not have to bottle up your feelings because you're afraid of how your partner may react. Bottling up your emotions helps no one, and it's a scary sight to see when it finally boils over.
Now, that being said I am not trying to argue with you when I tell you how I feel. I am not being rude when I tell you how I feel. I am not being a bitch when I tell you how I feel. I am just telling you how I feel. You don't have to understand it. All I expect is for you to just tell me that you hear me. I'm not asking for anything else. I just want you to hear me, which isn't hard to do if you're listening. I personally THRIVE off of speech. If you tell me you hear me and that my feelings are valid I will FEEL like they are valid.
Which brings me to my next point...
2) My Love Language
If you do not know what your love language is go here and find out. Knowing your own love language is important for you and your partner to know. My personal love language is words of affirmation. I like to HEAR that you love me because that's how I KNOW that you love me. This is how I love others also, but sometimes that not how others like to receive their love. Some people know they are loved when someone does something for them, when someone spends time with them, when they receive small gifts from others, or when they are hugged or cuddle with their partner. It's important to know your partner's love language so you can love them in the way they will understand. This is not "extra" or "stupid" like some may say, this is important. I urge you to take the quiz, and find out how to let others know how to care for you.
3) Breakups Are Not Always Sad
Not to say that every break up doesn't come with it's own emotion: anger, sadness, grief, joy whatever it may be there is always some sort of emotion involved. In some cases breakups are a good thing. Sometimes it's not immediately recognizable that it was, in fact, a good thing, but it becomes apparent over time. It's OKAY if you don't feel sad right away (or at all). It's OKAY to feel relief. It's OKAY to only be upset for two days. It's OKAY to jump right back into the game, and it's OKAY to take your time to heal. I can't tell you the best way to deal with your breakup. How you deal is the best way to deal. As long as you're comfortable, you're doing it right.
That's all I have to say about that. I'm so thankful for all the things my ex boyfriend's have taught me. I'm thankful for the heartbreak. I'm thankful for the failures and the experiences. I hope what I wrote helped even a little for any of y'all struggling out there. If you have something else you might want to add that you wish you knew leave it in the comments.
Until next time 😗,
Kelsie
A single pringle
1) You Are Allowed to Have Feelings
This one was tricky for me. I am very dramatic emotional.
I have a lot of feelings. I am this girl.
No one should make you feel like you're being extra when expressing your feelings. Having feelings does not make you weak, and expressing them should not be something you fear doing with your partner. You should not have to bottle up your feelings because you're afraid of how your partner may react. Bottling up your emotions helps no one, and it's a scary sight to see when it finally boils over.
Now, that being said I am not trying to argue with you when I tell you how I feel. I am not being rude when I tell you how I feel. I am not being a bitch when I tell you how I feel. I am just telling you how I feel. You don't have to understand it. All I expect is for you to just tell me that you hear me. I'm not asking for anything else. I just want you to hear me, which isn't hard to do if you're listening. I personally THRIVE off of speech. If you tell me you hear me and that my feelings are valid I will FEEL like they are valid.
Which brings me to my next point...
2) My Love Language
If you do not know what your love language is go here and find out. Knowing your own love language is important for you and your partner to know. My personal love language is words of affirmation. I like to HEAR that you love me because that's how I KNOW that you love me. This is how I love others also, but sometimes that not how others like to receive their love. Some people know they are loved when someone does something for them, when someone spends time with them, when they receive small gifts from others, or when they are hugged or cuddle with their partner. It's important to know your partner's love language so you can love them in the way they will understand. This is not "extra" or "stupid" like some may say, this is important. I urge you to take the quiz, and find out how to let others know how to care for you.
3) Breakups Are Not Always Sad
Not to say that every break up doesn't come with it's own emotion: anger, sadness, grief, joy whatever it may be there is always some sort of emotion involved. In some cases breakups are a good thing. Sometimes it's not immediately recognizable that it was, in fact, a good thing, but it becomes apparent over time. It's OKAY if you don't feel sad right away (or at all). It's OKAY to feel relief. It's OKAY to only be upset for two days. It's OKAY to jump right back into the game, and it's OKAY to take your time to heal. I can't tell you the best way to deal with your breakup. How you deal is the best way to deal. As long as you're comfortable, you're doing it right.
That's all I have to say about that. I'm so thankful for all the things my ex boyfriend's have taught me. I'm thankful for the heartbreak. I'm thankful for the failures and the experiences. I hope what I wrote helped even a little for any of y'all struggling out there. If you have something else you might want to add that you wish you knew leave it in the comments.
Until next time 😗,
Kelsie
A single pringle
Yaaaaas queen
ReplyDeleteLove you Carly Marie
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