Creating Storms Without An Umbrella

Hello everyone! 

This past year was very much a year of discovery I suppose. I learned quite a bit about how much I can tolerate from others in terms of general nonsense. I have a lot more girl friends now than I have in a long time. I'm so thankful for them. They have been some of my biggest sources of support since I moved away from home. Of course though with the increase in the size of my friend group I've encountered some drama magnets. 

There are just quite a few people in my life who I would categorize as a DRAMA MAGNET. Drama magnets are people who seem to always be able to attract some form of drama to themselves. If you aren't careful you can get swept up in all of it. It's frustrating, and it's emotionally draining to have to deal with. Above all else it's childish. Those drama magnets are in my workplace. They're at the bars judging others from across the room. They're in the Facebook groups I'm in. They were in my sorority. They're just about everywhere. It's hard to avoid them, and like I mentioned it's even harder to stay out of it sometimes. You just get sucked in, especially if the drama is taking place in an area where you really just can't leave like work or school. Which is when it really sucks because if you're like me you just want the places where you stay to be nice in atmosphere, attitude, and general vibe. No one wants to be somewhere where they feel like they're getting talked about by someone who is supposed to be their "friend".

When I worked at my old job I was originally put in this main hallway. I loved the classroom because it was the one with the starboard and I used it a lot in my lessons. I hated it though because of its location. Don't get me wrong it was nice to be so close to the exit when the end of the day came, but I was in the middle of everything. As a result I was always getting sucked into stupid bullshit. "So and so said ____ about Ms. So and so" or "no he said blah blah blah to her, so she said this about him". It was enough to make your head spin with the amount of drama that ran up to my door in khaki slacks and a polo. It was everyday, and if it wasn't a face to face exchange of current events it was a text message. I felt as though I was constantly in the middle of arguments I had no business being in. I was being pulled side to side, and I hated it. What's amazing though was that as soon as I was moved to the back hallway by myself that drama just stopped. I would eat lunch in my own classroom in the back, people would come looking for me, and still never be able to find me. Even when someone else was moved into that hallway with me it was still completely drama free with the exception of the cook who enjoyed gossiping. I actually enjoyed my job those last few months I was there. It was so nice to not feel like I was being talked about, or having to keep petty juvenile secrets about who said what about who.

Which is why once I left that main hallway at my previous job I decided I wouldn't create storms in my life when I didn't have an umbrella to handle the downpour. I wasn't going to allow myself to be dragged into these situations where I would end up hurting someone's feelings by being shady with other people who are probably talking shit about me behind my back anyways.

The amount of stress and anxiety I personally experienced in these "drama magnet" situations is not worth the, in the grand scheme of things, 15 seconds of "friendship". Now that's not to say that those people weren't in my life for a reason. They helped me to grow and mature, and for that I'm grateful, but it always feels nice to let it go. Being able to move on from these situations and grow in spite of them is what life is all about, so I can't say that meeting these people was a mistake. Don't get me wrong, sometimes it takes awhile to figure out and feel out new people who enter your life, and determine if they'll be trouble for you. As soon as you figure out that this person who seems to have graced you with their presence may be bringing you into a storm you aren't prepared to weather it's time to let them go. It isn't worth being caught in the down pour. That's why this year I'm focusing on strengthening relationships with those who build others up not those who tear others down. Hopefully you can bring yourself to do the same this year! Make it a goal! Have meaningful relationships with people and build each other up. 

Until next time my friends = )